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This blog post explores the transformative power of being open and the foundational elements that foster a supportive environment for emotional healing, learning, and growth.
Many of us find ourselves in life situations where we feel walled up, separated from others and our community. This isolation can stem from an array of sources, often influenced by past experiences and the fear of vulnerability. Yet, creating a safe space to express ourselves—our true thoughts, opinions, and feelings without the fear of judgment, rejection, or punishment—is fundamental to our emotional health and interpersonal growth.
The Journey to Openness
No-one can be forced to become more open, and there is no guarantee that increased openness will achieve specific outcomes. However, understanding how to embrace openness and recognising its potential benefits can be profoundly advantageous. This approach not only fosters personal growth but also enriches our interactions with others.
Opening up to others about ourselves requires developing a deeper awareness of our inner world. By observing our thoughts and feelings, we can better understand our experiences and identify what we truly value and appreciate. This understanding enables us to articulate our desires, hopes, dreams, and aspirations more clearly. By observing our thoughts and feelings we are able to understand our experiences and consider what information is important to share to improve our relationships.
Once you can make accurate observations of yourself, you are able to communicate to others, sharing about who we are and how we are engaging with life. Learning to articulate about your thoughts, feelings and opinions will take practice and requires patience from both yourself and those who you choose to communicate with. If you feel under pressure during this practice it can influence your level of awareness. It is best to first try expressing yourself with someone who you know is a good listener, who is comfortable with silences and who is naturally curious about others, as their questions can help deepen your self reflections.
It is important to find a loving container for being open so that you can support your emotional healing, learning and growth. — aim to find a space where all perspectives are welcomed with equal acceptance and curiosity, and where every reaction is considered so that the expansion of awareness and connection is supported.
If when you are trying to share something about your experience you feel you are being regularly interrupted, or that the conversation quickly shifts back to the other person, like there is not enough time to say your piece, or maybe the other person doesn't ask you questions about your experiences, it may not be the right situation or person to practice with.
Being open is easier with someone who is an open person. Someone who is naturally empathetic, compassionate and attentive.
Your initial attempts at being more open might feel quite uncomfortable, often marked by a tension that needs to soften or perhaps a sensation like a lump in your throat. Moving beyond this block can feel daunting, like stepping into unfamiliar territory. Crossing this threshold often triggers a natural response: a release that may bring tears. It's common for people to feel the need to apologise for crying, especially when they are confused about their tears, not necessarily feeling sad but relieved—a sensation they may not be accustomed to.
If you experience a sense of relief, take a moment to tune into how it feels. You might notice more space within your body, a sense of clarity in your mind, or perhaps a lightness that could even bring a smile or laughter. Whatever you observe is perfectly fine. This relief might lead to several realisations: how freeing it is to be more open, how much your restraint has limited your life, and perhaps a sense of grief over lost time or damaged relationships.
Grief is a natural part of the healing process. It surfaces when we release old ideas, expectations, hopes, or dreams that have supported certain narratives in our lives. These might include unmet aspirations, attachments to the past, or long-held beliefs that we've never really questioned. As the energy sustaining these stories recedes into the body, we begin to truly feel and process the grief. This emotional release is a crucial step towards deeper healing and understanding.
Grief can be viewed as unexpressed love. It encompasses all those moments when we felt love but restrained ourselves from expressing our true feelings. It includes the love that has remained unacknowledged, never recognized or reciprocated by another, as well as the love that has not yet found its match, or the love that has experienced loss or separation and now feels incomplete.
By embracing both love and grief, we can discover new ways to open up. Familiarising ourselves with these emotions allows our hearts to revive and become more vibrant. This rejuvenation encourages us to naturally start sharing our inner worlds with others, fostering deeper connections and understanding.
Things To Remember
The process of becoming more open is unique to each individual and requires self-driven determination. Waiting for an invitation to open up might lead us to miss many opportunities for deeper connections. Conversely, if we remain superficial, others may perceive us as uninterested or shallow. The vulnerability of being open signals trust and a willingness to engage genuinely, enhancing our connections.
The vulnerability of being open is like saying I am here to meet you in my truth. It sends out a signal that you can be trusted, that you can make some sort of commitment to the relationship and that you trust the other person.
When there is deeper trust, our minds and bodies open up more, allowing us to feel and connect on a profound level. So be mindful about being open and shutting down. Reflect on when you are giving off mixed signals to others. Maybe there are those friends who accept you regardless who have known you as someone who experiences the world from behind your emotional walls. Then there are others who have tried to connect and maybe stopped with their efforts as what they offered was not reciprocated.
The Role of Healthy Boundaries
We don't need to be open with everyone but if we are closed off to everyone that it will define the tone of our life path. And if we are open selectively then that is also going to be seen by others and we should be careful to reflect on why we choose to be more open with some people than others, this can be used as a doorway into our shadow or unconscious bias. You can be more open when you have healthy boundaries as you know you can trust yourself to say NO and walk away rather than stay in a situation that is potentially triggering, damaging or abusive.
Having healthy boundaries is crucial when striving to be more open. Boundaries help us trust that we can engage meaningfully without feeling overwhelmed or risking our emotional safety. With strong boundaries, we can manage how open we want to be, based on who we are interacting with and the level of trust established.
Reflective Questions to Enhance Openness
Here are some questions to consider to explore a healthier approach to openness in your relationships:
- Do I spend time reflecting on my experiences so I can share my thoughts and feelings about a relationship accurately?
- How comfortable do I feel speaking about my feelings and beliefs?
- Are my opinions listened to and valued?
- Do I understand the origins of my opinions and feelings?
- How do the people I interact with respond to my thoughts and feelings?
- Am I able to discuss my attitudes and behaviors comfortably?
- How freely do I offer information about myself, and what are my expectations in doing so?
- Do I know how to comfortably end a conversation or shift topics?
- What steps can I take to deepen my connections through communication?
- What personal details am I willing to share to help others understand who I am?
By answering these questions, we can better navigate our path to openness, ensuring that our journey enhances our relationships and enriches our lives.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the practice of being more open is not just a pathway to greater self-expression but a bridge to deeper human connection. By fostering openness in our lives, we embrace a multitude of benefits that enhance both our personal growth and our interactions with others.
Opening up allows us to experience a profound sense of liberation from the burdens we carry. It promotes emotional release and healing, helping us to process and move past the grief tied to old narratives and suppressed feelings. As we share more of ourselves, we also attract more authenticity in our relationships, encouraging others to engage with us on a deeper level.
Being open enhances our self-awareness and empathy. It teaches us to listen not only to our own hearts but also to the hearts of others with compassion and understanding. This mutual vulnerability fosters a supportive community atmosphere where all members feel safe and valued.
Ultimately, the practice of being more open is about cultivating a life filled with richer, more meaningful interactions. It challenges us to live authentically, with the courage to show up as our true selves and the wisdom to know when and with whom to share our innermost thoughts and feelings. Through openness, we not only enrich our own lives but also contribute to a more understanding and connected world.
Embracing this journey of openness can be transformative, leading to a more fulfilled and emotionally vibrant life. As we continue to grow and evolve, let us cherish the moments of connection and clarity that come from being open, remembering that each step towards openness is a step towards a more heartfelt and connected existence.
